


Hope

by Southern_Breeze



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Gen, Redemption, Second Chances, Selfless Love, Sequel, selfish love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-26
Updated: 2015-10-26
Packaged: 2018-04-28 06:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5081994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Southern_Breeze/pseuds/Southern_Breeze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sequel to Tirnel's "Emptiness," which I felt inspired to write as soon as I read her story. William has now moved on after finding redemption, and Grell has no idea what to do until Undertaker offers a possible solution.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tirnel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tirnel/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Emptiness](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5026579) by [Tirnel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tirnel/pseuds/Tirnel). 



> Sequel to Tirnel's Emptiness.

**Hope  
A sequel to Tirnel’s “Emptiness.”**

Rain fell steadily from slate colored sky as Grell walked down a cobblestone street. The entire world had seemingly gone grey overnight as it was nothing more than the palette of a colorblind artist, but it seemed fitting somehow with William gone. Tears fell from her eyes, further blurring her already poor vision, and mixed with the cool tendrils of rain that streaked down her face and destroyed her makeup. Normally, she would have cursed the rain that frizzed her temperamental hair, but the weather now fit her mood. The world should be in mourning.

William was gone.

She had left her glasses on her desk and had almost immediately left the realm was the weight of the realization had fully sunk in. There was nothing for her now – not in the reaper realm and not here. She had spent almost her entire existence as a reaper trying to gain William’s love, only to lose him forever once he finally returned her feelings. Those brief moments in his arms, wrapped in the love he rarely showed, were precious but far too little for her to hold for the rest of eternity.

“What are you doing in the rain, my dear?” a voice inquired nearby.

Grell gasped and turned around to find herself facing a black and silver blur, but she had recognized the voice instantly. Undertaker took a few steps closer and his figure came into focus. He wore his typical grin, although she couldn’t help but notice that his usual mad joy was tempered with something more somber. “Nothing,” she mumbled as she turned away and cast her eyes to the ground. There was a puddle at her feet, and she wished that it could swallow her entirely.

He stepped forward and gently placed his fingers beneath her chin to turn her face towards his own. “Something is wrong,” he insisted, “and I can’t leave a lady crying in the rain now, can I?” He chuckled slightly. “Come back to my shop and I’ll make you a nice cup of tea.”

She wanted to argue, but she allowed herself to be led without protest. To her surprise, she found that she wasn’t all that far away from Undertaker’s place, and she wondered if she had unconsciously create a portal in his vicinity. She felt too tired to dwell on the matter as he brought her inside and helped her take a seat upon the coffin. It was almost as if she was in some horrible dream as she distantly became aware of sounds of what she assumed to be his kitchen before he reappeared to put a hot cup of tea in her trembling hands.

“Now,” he began, sitting down on another coffin opposite of her, “Tell ol’ Undertaker’s what’s wrong.”

She took a sip of the tea, which was probably quite good although it was tasteless to her in her grief, before setting the cup aside. Setting the cup aside, she struggled to find the right words to express her troubles, but broke down with tears instead. Sobbing loudly, she covered her face with her hands and allowed all of her emotions to stream down her face. She was so lost in her tears, that she hadn’t been aware that Undertaker had even moved until she felt an arm encircle her shoulders. It felt good to have someone comfort her, and she leaned against him and cried for several more minutes.

Finally, it seemed she had finally all the tears her broken heart could produce, and she sat up. “Thank you,” she said softly, “I think I needed that.”

“Of course, my dear,” Undertaker said, “So, what is that’s broken your heart so? I do hate to see a lady cry.”

“It’s William,” she found herself saying in a clear, empty tone, “He’s…he’s moved on.”

“Moved on?”

“He’s been redeemed and his sentence has ended,” she explained, “I’ve lost him forever.” Although her eyes stung, there were no more tears left to cry.

“I see,” Undertaker said, “But aren’t you happy for Willy? He’s no longer being punished now.”

“But I want him with me!” she cried, but then she dropped her voice before continuing. “I know how selfish that sounds. I should be happy for Will. I want to be, but I just want him here with me.”

Undertaker nodded. “Love can be selfish,” he said, “No one likes to admit it, but it’s true at times. However, Willy moving on doesn’t mean you can never see him again. You might be redeemed one day and join him.”

She laughed bitterly. “After all I’ve done?” she retorted. Standing up, she paced the room a few times as nervous energy propelled her. “I had never cared about being redeemed,” she explained, “Even before I killed those women with Ann, I didn’t think I had a chance, and I knew I didn’t have one after.” Sighing loudly, she returned to her seat beside him. “Don’t you see? I’ve done too much. My sentence will be an eternity, and the punishment will be even crueler now that I’ve tasted Will’s sweet love only to never see his face again.”

“You could always be a deserter and join me here,” he offered, “You’ve already given up your glasses, and I know you’re not squeamish about dead bodies.”

She almost managed a smile, but she couldn’t help but wonder precisely what the retired reaper was offering. Many times she had thought that it was possible he fancied her, although her heart was too fully consumed by her love for William to ever consider another. “There’s nothing for me in the reaper realm,” she answered, “so I had already decided to be a deserter, but I can’t stay here. I need to go somewhere far away so I don’t have to think about all I’ve lost. I just wish there was another option because I’d give anything to see Will’s face one last time.”

“Would you really?” Undertaker asked, tilting his head. One of his glorious eyes was revealed, and as strange light burned in its phosphorous depths.

“Of course,” she replied, “If I had one more moment and a chance for a proper goodbye, I’d be content. I’d have to be.”

“There might be a way then,” he said.

“Really?”

He nodded slowly. “I do know a method, an ancient, forbidden method, to allow a reaper to cross over into the boundary and enter the final resting place of the rewarded souls,” he explained, “but it’s dangerous. Crossing over while still possessing a physical body will result in your own death - a death of body and soul. You would have your chance to see Will, but it will cost you your own life, and there will be no second chances. You will simply cease to exist.”

“That’s fine!” she insisted, “As long as I get to see Will, to touch him and tell him that I love him, that will be enough. What do I need to do?”

“Nothing at the moment,” he answered, “go back to the reaper realm and wait. You can meet me in the library at midnight if this is what you truly want.” He leaned forward, “But I beg you to reconsider. There’s no reason for you to give up all hope so quickly.”

“I’m not giving up hope,” she replied, “In fact, you’ve just given me all the hope I could wish for. Thank you.” Feeling more at ease, she got up and crossed the room. “I’ll see you at midnight then,” she said.

“Midnight,” he agreed, but there was no mistaking the sadness that laced his voice.

Without another word, she walked outside into the cool night air and discovered that the rain had finally ceased. Just before she created the portal to return back to her own realm, she glanced back at the shadowy shop as she considered all that just had happened. It appeared that Undertaker might truly care for her, but he was the one willing to help her see William one last time even though it would mean Undertaker would never see her again.

Perhaps love could be as selfless as it was selfish.

((x))

She returned to the home that she had shared with William only to find it was cold and full of shadows. For the past few months since she had moved in, it had been so warm and full of love, but now she moved through these halls like a forgotten ghost. She flicked the lights on, but the meek, yellow light couldn’t dispel all of the gloom.

She had gone to the office first to retrieve her glasses and found she had been written up for multiple offences. Tomorrow, she was scheduled to stand before the disciplinary board concerning her actions, but she had no intention of keeping the appointment. She hoped to be in William’s arms, however briefly, tomorrow. The thought allowed her to smile ever so slightly.

Reaching into the pocket of her coat, she retrieved the item she had taken from the box earlier. It was a tiny rock that was vaguely heart-shaped, and seemed like such an unusual thing for William to have kept on his desk. Back when they were still rookies, they had been on assignment together that had led them to a wooded area. Grell had never been a fan of nature, but she had spied this tiny rock on the ground, and had found its shape appealing. She had picked up it to show to William, remarking how its heart shape was a sign of their love, but he had seemingly dismissed it. Annoyed, she had stuck it in his pocket for him to find later, although she had assumed he would only toss it aside. It wasn’t until many years later she noticed it hiding on his shelf next to one of his crystal pigeon figurines. It was then she had realized that he did care even if he wasn’t the best at expressing it.

Smiling at the memory, she went to drop the rock back into her pocket, when she noticed there was a letter that was tucked into the bottom corner of the pocket. She had no idea how she hadn’t noticed it before, but assumed it must have been because of her own grief. Curious, she pulled out the carefully folded piece of paper and found her emotions rising into her throat when she saw William’s neat handwriting. It appeared he had written her a final goodbye after all.

 

 _Grell,_  
_I got an emergency call from the Board this morning, although I am still unsure of the specifics. While I pride myself on being rational, I have this fear that we may be separated. I do not wish to frighten you unnecessarily, and I know Upper Management would frown upon me giving you any sort of warning, rational or otherwise. This was the reason I decided to place the note in your pocket so that you will only find it once you are fully awake, and hopefully no one else will discover this letter’s existence. I only hope that it is truly nothing and I will be able to return to you. If my fears are correct, however, please know that I do love you, even though those words are hard for me to say. Even if we are separated, we will see each other again. Please, don’t lose hope._

_William_

 

Tears fell from her eyes and dripped onto the note, smearing the ink. William had some idea of what was happening, and he had specifically wrote her a note telling her not to worry or lose hope, which was the very things he had done. Holding the note close to her chest, she could just imagine William scribbling those few lines as he searched for the right words.

Suddenly, she realized that William wouldn’t want her to give up her own life just to see him briefly. Although he couldn’t have known she would make such a crazy plan with Undertaker, he was basically telling her that they would find a way to be together again. Wiping away her tears, she glanced over at the clock and saw it was nearly midnight. Soon, she would have to leave to tell Undertaker of her decision.

Although she still didn’t think there was much chance of her finding her own redemption, she would try. She would face her punishments tomorrow and do her best to move forward.

After all, there was always hope.


End file.
